An industry member, Mr A commented in Chinese that "XXX is the type of girl that guys can easily 'bluff'. Unlike you". I smiled. I am not sure if thats meant to be a compliment or ?? What will he think if he ever know the real me, the real Miss Koh? That behind that tough, assertive and confident lady is a girl that has been repeatedly 'bluffed' :-)
One's ability at work does not equal one's ability in dealing with one's private or family life. U may be a champion at work but a loser otherwise, or vice-versa. A woman will always remain a girl at heart, no matter how tough she may be or she appears to be, at work. And really, deep down inside, every woman longs to 'bluffed'.
Its not so difficult to 'bluff' me. Its much easier that you think. Unfortunately.
:-p
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Where do WE go from here?
Just read a friend's email about her discovery of the sexual orientation of her childhood friend. As an ex-TV producer herself, her story was filled with suspense, doubt, ???, tinge of sadness and more. The making of a good script. Good storyline. Thats what I told her. And because of that email...
I miss TV, or rather I miss our days in TCS... More precisely, I miss our youthful days. I miss the life then that was filled with dreams, aspirations, suspense, doubt, ???. I thought each time I 'fell' then that it would be the end of the world but the end never came. I was young then and had my whole life ahead of me. I did all the things I wanna do and I kept having more and more things I wanna do. I did TV, I travelled to places pp wouldn't consider going, I explored places on my own. I took french, I took japanese, I took thai. Haha. I took batik painting, I took calligraphy, I took photography, pottery. U can't name them, I took them all. I dated indian chap, french men, vietnamese-aussie chap. I gave it all up (almost) and when off to France to stay for a few months. I fell in love under the Effel Tower. I made a French man follow me home, to Asia, to Singapore. I love films, I love the theatre, I love the stage.....My twenties would be what pp term exciting, fun and ahead of my time. Looking back, it was indeed so.
Then I hit 30 and things just went stagnant. My life just went stagnant. The 'growth' that was part of my life in the twenties never quite sustained. Yes, I continued to do the things I wanna do but I didn't quite move ahead. Or as the Chinese would say, there were dark clouds above my head. If I have gone to a fortune-teller in my twenties, I am pretty sure he would have been able to read that from my palm or my face perhaps. :-). I just didn't have the same zest, the same passion, the same what have you that I had in my twenties. Part of aging or did I move too fast, too soon when I was younger? I became tired and bored. SIAN is the word.
Honestly I do not know what I am living for now. Whats ahead of me. I seem to have done all the things I ever wanna do. I am not even excited about travelling anymore. Have I gone to too many countries too soon? Yes, granted that many people have been to Vietnam, Nepal and now I am actually residing in Beijing but I first went to Vietnam, Beijing, Nepal etc etc way back, in the 90s, when I was still in school, when I first started work. Yes, I 'jumped-queue'. I just packed and left. Even whilst pp are struggling with their job, their school life.. I wanted to see the world, to have a taste of life. And then all these just came to an 'end', spiritually at least, when I hit 30. Things just went down hill....literally.
Where am I heading? I don't know. Maybe nowhere. And thats a scary thought.
Whats my passion in life now? I don't know. Maybe I don't have any now. And thats sad.
Maybe I shld be doing things people my age shld be doing but I am not doing them so I am lost. But its not a deliberate choice. Its not as if I chose to take this path.
Is there nowhere out?
Does it really matter?
:-)
I miss TV, or rather I miss our days in TCS... More precisely, I miss our youthful days. I miss the life then that was filled with dreams, aspirations, suspense, doubt, ???. I thought each time I 'fell' then that it would be the end of the world but the end never came. I was young then and had my whole life ahead of me. I did all the things I wanna do and I kept having more and more things I wanna do. I did TV, I travelled to places pp wouldn't consider going, I explored places on my own. I took french, I took japanese, I took thai. Haha. I took batik painting, I took calligraphy, I took photography, pottery. U can't name them, I took them all. I dated indian chap, french men, vietnamese-aussie chap. I gave it all up (almost) and when off to France to stay for a few months. I fell in love under the Effel Tower. I made a French man follow me home, to Asia, to Singapore. I love films, I love the theatre, I love the stage.....My twenties would be what pp term exciting, fun and ahead of my time. Looking back, it was indeed so.
Then I hit 30 and things just went stagnant. My life just went stagnant. The 'growth' that was part of my life in the twenties never quite sustained. Yes, I continued to do the things I wanna do but I didn't quite move ahead. Or as the Chinese would say, there were dark clouds above my head. If I have gone to a fortune-teller in my twenties, I am pretty sure he would have been able to read that from my palm or my face perhaps. :-). I just didn't have the same zest, the same passion, the same what have you that I had in my twenties. Part of aging or did I move too fast, too soon when I was younger? I became tired and bored. SIAN is the word.
Honestly I do not know what I am living for now. Whats ahead of me. I seem to have done all the things I ever wanna do. I am not even excited about travelling anymore. Have I gone to too many countries too soon? Yes, granted that many people have been to Vietnam, Nepal and now I am actually residing in Beijing but I first went to Vietnam, Beijing, Nepal etc etc way back, in the 90s, when I was still in school, when I first started work. Yes, I 'jumped-queue'. I just packed and left. Even whilst pp are struggling with their job, their school life.. I wanted to see the world, to have a taste of life. And then all these just came to an 'end', spiritually at least, when I hit 30. Things just went down hill....literally.
Where am I heading? I don't know. Maybe nowhere. And thats a scary thought.
Whats my passion in life now? I don't know. Maybe I don't have any now. And thats sad.
Maybe I shld be doing things people my age shld be doing but I am not doing them so I am lost. But its not a deliberate choice. Its not as if I chose to take this path.
Is there nowhere out?
Does it really matter?
:-)
Thursday, February 09, 2006
One n Only One BIG LOVE in one's lifetime?
A good pal once asked me if its true that there can only be ONE BIG LOVE in one's life and I said YES, and that I had had experienced that ONE BIG LOVE. Its not as if I did not love the guys after this ONE BIG LOVE but they were different and you know when its never quite the same. Love yes, BUT not THE LOVE.
I thought I was right. I held that thought for years. But now all I want to tell this good pal (it doesn't matter to her no more as she has gone on to marry her other big love :-)) is that, its NOT TRUE. You can have more than ONE BIG LOVE in your lifetime. Its that special someone, that special person that you know you will NEVER ever forget. That you know you truly love. That you know you can imagine and look forward to spending the rest of your life happily with him.
I had the change to experience TWO BIG LOVE in this lifetime. But I lost both of them. M I lucky or m I lucky?
I thought I was right. I held that thought for years. But now all I want to tell this good pal (it doesn't matter to her no more as she has gone on to marry her other big love :-)) is that, its NOT TRUE. You can have more than ONE BIG LOVE in your lifetime. Its that special someone, that special person that you know you will NEVER ever forget. That you know you truly love. That you know you can imagine and look forward to spending the rest of your life happily with him.
I had the change to experience TWO BIG LOVE in this lifetime. But I lost both of them. M I lucky or m I lucky?
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
A picture tells a thousand words they say...
but how a photo is composed; the angle it was taken, the subject portrayed etc reflects the mood, the character, the thoughts of the composer as well. The following series of photos were taken by a friend. What kind of person would take such photos u reckon?
SnapShot of Christmas and New Year 2006 in Beijing
Brrhh....These photos just about sum up my Christmas n New Year in Beijing. New experiences, friends and moments that warmed my heart in otherwise col....dddd Beijing.
Free your mind...the rest will follow...
Free your mind...the rest will follow...
Ooh...I forgot about Christmas...lunch in an Orchard with Ruhani and Beijing friends
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