Monday, May 26, 2008
Smoke gets in the eyes... my eyes.
I was almost in tears after I sent out the email. I didn't expect it. The (near) tears I meant.
It had been a tough decision one which I prayed a fair bit.
It goes like this. Another overseas posting was available. I was keen and the Boss was keen on me. But my condition was that I would only accept a term of 1 + 1.
The Boss spoke to a few bigger bosses and they said 2 years minimum. He got back to me. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I sticked to my 1+1.
I prepared for my de-positing back to SIN by talking to my new boss who was in HK last week. We agreed on the division and the date. I had no choice as my term is going to an end and I need to make arrangements for my lease over the Olympics.
Then THE Boss called me and said HEY, the door was never closed. Who knows, they may say yes to your 1+1.
Things are getting complicated. I am tired. And I am beginning to think that I should be back. Back for my mum. Not for anyone else but her.
I emailed to say NOPE. And then I just felt tears in my eyes.
Its just so tough. So So tough. I am ready to leave China. I am not ready to go back to SIN. The new posting is not perfect but its gonna be interesting as I get to live in another country.
Yet I am tired of my company. Of my job. Tired of the emails and the people. Tired of the incapable staff they promote.
And Yet my mum refused to see the doctors anymore and she refused any further treatment.
I am tired. Mentally Tired.
I just need a good cry.
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3 comments:
it's tough, i guess. but He Himself has said, ’I will never leave you nor forsake you’ — Hebrews 13:5. so, believe. i believe that when a window of opportunity closes, another door opens, so don't just focus on what that might be closed, look out for another that might be opened. praying with you..
Jesus says, "I will be with you always, even until the end of the world."
it doesn't matter where you are - Beijing, Singapore, Korea, New York - and when you are there. He is right there with you. And even if it seems like a dark place you are entering, He is there, and He holds your hand, His word a light for your path. Don't be afraid to go to unknown places with Him (unknown in the sense of not exerting your right to your life, but ceding your right to Him who can choose the best - not just the optimal - for you). It is a hard place to go to, but God really does direct the steps of His people. Trust Him, even if you don't always see Him.
praying with you too..
yup I echo the wise ones who have posted before me. have tears in my eyes too. Will be praying with you.
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