When I go to Heaven and when I meet the Lord, I am going to ask why is it that you keep some of us attached and some of us, single.
I am likely to go back to Singapore the way I came three years ago, alone.
I have forgotten how it is like to go on a date. I wouldn't know what to wear, what to say and where to keep my hands. :-) To myself I suppose. Poohahahaha.
I am so used to singlehood that I can't quite remember how it is like to be in love. Wait, your heart will beat faster ya? And everything will taste sweeter?
A European girlfriend once pulled me aside and exclaimed, "Beng, I can feel it all coming back again. I am a virgin all over again. Yes, its been that long!". I shall never forget the scene that took place in a dark lane in Beijing, one starry starry night. Trust the angmos to be so upfront.
The other night I dropped by at a pub to meet some friends. I met a new angmo guy and a new Chinese girl. The girl and I started chatting and the next thing I know, she took out a camera and showed us photos of two lovely kids of mixed parentage. I said to HER, "The boys are so cute, are they yours?". HE went, "Wait till you see them, our boys are naughty."
I did't stay long in the pub that night. In fact, I went off without ordering any drinks. I was tired, tired of myself thinking,"Even this plain jane is attached, or married to be exact, and to an angmo! Whats wrong with me?". I didn't want to dwell on that thought (I didn't) and hence I left. To go to my lovely single abode. To my haven which only know of singlehood.
Sometimes I think IF, if I am prettier, I would be attached by now. And then I meet this plain Jane who is married and my "I am not as pretty hence I am still single" theory is thrown out of the window.
Then I go to a party and my girlfriends would ask, "Which one do you fancy? I will introduce.". Ten out of ten times, I picked someone who has a ring on his fourth finger or someone whose girlfriend is in the same party.
I rarely meet singles I am keen on and on those limited occasions, the guy is not interested in me. Or he is this man from across the streets and there is no way I would get to know or if there is any reason for us to meet (more than once).
U go for gatherings and u are the only single. U go for meetings and u are the only single.
Have faith and the right guy will arrive. Yes, he will. Perhaps. But I am into the last stretch of my life now. And I am already used to sleeping alone, spending holidays on my own AND talking to myself at home. Is there a opt-in form for this? I certainly did not sign my name on the opt-out form :-)
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Characterless Character. What a Character. No!
She took a bottle of hair toxins from someone just because that someone was giving it to her other colleagues who are losing hair. She has lush black hair.
A colleague had to exlain to her he was installing a virus scanner on my laptop because my laptop was dying. There was a "I also want it for my laptop" expression on her face even though her laptop is perfectly fine.
Two colleagues passed me a stack of Chinese Gossip Magazines as I asked for them. She saw it and asked me to pass to her when I am done. She who does not even speak proper Chinese. She who does not even know know a Taiwanese artiste from a HK Taiwanese artiste from a Mainland Chinese artiste.
I once told her I went to XX for holidays. The next thing I know, she was planning a trip there.
I once told her I enjoyed going to XX restaurant/pub to chill out. The next thing I know, she told everyone she loves the place and often goes there.
I once raised my voice over my local staff. The next thing I know her staff told me she the meek sweety pie raised her voice at her staff for no good reason.
Someone asked her about me recently. She commented that I do not keep her in the loop of things.
It's true. I don't. I don't want to see her living out MY LIFE...a split second after me.
I DISLIKE her. SUE Me.
A colleague had to exlain to her he was installing a virus scanner on my laptop because my laptop was dying. There was a "I also want it for my laptop" expression on her face even though her laptop is perfectly fine.
Two colleagues passed me a stack of Chinese Gossip Magazines as I asked for them. She saw it and asked me to pass to her when I am done. She who does not even speak proper Chinese. She who does not even know know a Taiwanese artiste from a HK Taiwanese artiste from a Mainland Chinese artiste.
I once told her I went to XX for holidays. The next thing I know, she was planning a trip there.
I once told her I enjoyed going to XX restaurant/pub to chill out. The next thing I know, she told everyone she loves the place and often goes there.
I once raised my voice over my local staff. The next thing I know her staff told me she the meek sweety pie raised her voice at her staff for no good reason.
Someone asked her about me recently. She commented that I do not keep her in the loop of things.
It's true. I don't. I don't want to see her living out MY LIFE...a split second after me.
I DISLIKE her. SUE Me.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
I don't believe in Scandals
Recently I was asked to confirm a rumour. Whether or not these two friends were seeing each other and how one has left to join the other because of some scandelous situation bla bla bla. I was asked coz I happened to know one of them rather well. Apparently the person who started the rumour made it sound so real; with side stories and all.
Apart from having a good laugh together with the person in question, I was reminded of a similar situation that happened to me. I was the lead actress. Poohahahahha.
I was caught in a guy's room in the middle of the nite, 3 am to be exact, during my hostel days. Very common scenario really but we were unfortunately 'singled' out. It was bad. We had to face a disciplinary board of directors and I was asked the silly question of whether or not I was pinched by the 'actor'. Innocent me didn't understand why the question was posed till much later and after much analysis. The board of directors had wanted to know why OUCH was heard from the actor's room. If I had said yes to the question, we would have been 'saved'. Saved from 1) 2 weeks suspension, 2) S$300 penalty. But I was honest and said No.
For the record, I had let out an OUCH because I kicked something in the dark. His bed probably. KICKED I said. His Bed, yes. But I didn't say I was ON his bed.
Anyways.
Then I went back to my faculty and a friend came up to me excitedly. She went,"Did you hear about what happened in your hostel?". I shook my head. She went,"A couple was caught making out in the guy's room. The girl was moaning and groaning apparently and the block master (usually a lecturer/professor and his/her family would stay in each block)'s daughter was awakened by the noise. She was so scared that she cried and hence the couple was found out!".
I looked at her and said,"There was no moaning and groaning. There were laughters though. I know coz I was there. I was the girl in the room.".
There was NO moaning and NO groaning. For the record, we were not doing anything. I was in his room and laughing at 3 am because I just finished my assignment and it was TGIF and we were talking crap.
This guy whom yes, I was seeing then, went on to do badly for his law exams and ended up with a second lower. We often joked that he can never go into politics. Just in case his past or this past would creep up. I imagined my face in the New Paper. Not the coolest way to make the headlines.
By the way, the Head Master of the hostel who was in the disciplinary board went on to become a Minister. Wonder how he feels if he were to see us again. He, the actor is now a public prosecutor and moi, the actress, is now a serious (ahem) civil servant.
Scandals. SEX in Scandals. Don't believe in them.
Apart from having a good laugh together with the person in question, I was reminded of a similar situation that happened to me. I was the lead actress. Poohahahahha.
I was caught in a guy's room in the middle of the nite, 3 am to be exact, during my hostel days. Very common scenario really but we were unfortunately 'singled' out. It was bad. We had to face a disciplinary board of directors and I was asked the silly question of whether or not I was pinched by the 'actor'. Innocent me didn't understand why the question was posed till much later and after much analysis. The board of directors had wanted to know why OUCH was heard from the actor's room. If I had said yes to the question, we would have been 'saved'. Saved from 1) 2 weeks suspension, 2) S$300 penalty. But I was honest and said No.
For the record, I had let out an OUCH because I kicked something in the dark. His bed probably. KICKED I said. His Bed, yes. But I didn't say I was ON his bed.
Anyways.
Then I went back to my faculty and a friend came up to me excitedly. She went,"Did you hear about what happened in your hostel?". I shook my head. She went,"A couple was caught making out in the guy's room. The girl was moaning and groaning apparently and the block master (usually a lecturer/professor and his/her family would stay in each block)'s daughter was awakened by the noise. She was so scared that she cried and hence the couple was found out!".
I looked at her and said,"There was no moaning and groaning. There were laughters though. I know coz I was there. I was the girl in the room.".
There was NO moaning and NO groaning. For the record, we were not doing anything. I was in his room and laughing at 3 am because I just finished my assignment and it was TGIF and we were talking crap.
This guy whom yes, I was seeing then, went on to do badly for his law exams and ended up with a second lower. We often joked that he can never go into politics. Just in case his past or this past would creep up. I imagined my face in the New Paper. Not the coolest way to make the headlines.
By the way, the Head Master of the hostel who was in the disciplinary board went on to become a Minister. Wonder how he feels if he were to see us again. He, the actor is now a public prosecutor and moi, the actress, is now a serious (ahem) civil servant.
Scandals. SEX in Scandals. Don't believe in them.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Blogging and fans...
I never quite realised it but I have a bunch of friends out there...yes, you, You and YOU...who are my regular blog readers.
At least three of you commented that I have not updated my blog when I saw you last week. I have no access to the mail whenever I am home in SIN SO I felt almost obliged to run to the nearest Internet Cafe and update my blog. U made me feel like a columnist. Thank you.
I started the blog three years ago as I embarked on my (then) new journey in Beijing. And now, I am embarking on the last stretch of my journey here.
The first day at work as I walked from the serviced apartment where I put up temporaily, stopped at Starbucks, messaged my pal Kai telling him I was embarking on my first day as an expatriate in Beijing, and then I headed for the (ex) office building.....the walk...its still very much etched in my mind. It seems like yesterday. Really. Just yesterday.
But this 'yesterday' was three years ago. And I am no longer the same me. I thought one's personality would 'stop' evolving post-teens but I guess I am wrong. Circumstances, experiences...can change, can mould anyone; regardless of age or gender.
I only wish that time can stand still...its slipping out of my hands too fast.
At least three of you commented that I have not updated my blog when I saw you last week. I have no access to the mail whenever I am home in SIN SO I felt almost obliged to run to the nearest Internet Cafe and update my blog. U made me feel like a columnist. Thank you.
I started the blog three years ago as I embarked on my (then) new journey in Beijing. And now, I am embarking on the last stretch of my journey here.
The first day at work as I walked from the serviced apartment where I put up temporaily, stopped at Starbucks, messaged my pal Kai telling him I was embarking on my first day as an expatriate in Beijing, and then I headed for the (ex) office building.....the walk...its still very much etched in my mind. It seems like yesterday. Really. Just yesterday.
But this 'yesterday' was three years ago. And I am no longer the same me. I thought one's personality would 'stop' evolving post-teens but I guess I am wrong. Circumstances, experiences...can change, can mould anyone; regardless of age or gender.
I only wish that time can stand still...its slipping out of my hands too fast.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
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